Despite what film, artists, writers, scholars or humanitarians tell you there are two forces more powerful than any other that flow through the human experience and neither of them are love. Sad, I know, but a truth whether recognized or not. In fact, some of the most powerful structures on the planet solely exist based on these two emotions – religion and the legal system are examples that come immediately to mind. And while to a lesser developed mind these constructs may certainly have held a vital function the day of their role as the prime movers of mankind is in desperate need of an ending. They are like an error in our coding in need of debugging. Their existence serves only to slow down the software of our life.
The first necessary step is recognizing the source of these emotions. Fear is a simple one, it’s root is in the unknown and genesis can be directly traced to the fight or flight response in our sympathetic nervous system. Fear is built almost, if not completely, on the mechanism of self-preservation. In today’s modern context this includes a variety of offshoots of which the first that comes to mind is mistrust and warfare between nation states. Again, how this can be addressed will be explained shortly. Let us move on now to guilt.
Guilt, with the exception to a certain smaller variety of criminal offenses that result in unnecessary physical or financial damage, is a fundamentally misguided principle. In combination with fear guilt is (conscious or unconsciously) harnessed to induce near fanatical panic and in this panic, people are moved to an immediate sense of shame leaving them vulnerable. Vulnerability gives way to an instantaneous need for reconciliation (not necessarily in the religious sense) in order to correct their mistake. It is precisely at this point that they (we) are moved to a state of submission. Our constant movement between these two states of being, the individual and the servant, ultimately gives way to a condition of slavery.
Stripped of the remaining fabrics that bind the illusion of freedom (the state which a healthy concentration of people spend life living in) we trudge along on the path of life forced to give credence to our existence by either the choice of vicariously living through offspring, some type of religion/spirituality or a combination of the two. Existing in a manner of dependence based on being fulfilled by others and/or some mythical figure(s) is in itself a challenge the former I have no experience on the later I’ve discovered is an exercise in futility.
Moving forward the question requiring our attention is this, how do we separate ourselves from these two unnecessary weights? How do we purge ourselves of fear & guilt? While many experts (of which again I am NOT one) will offer up a novel’s worth of advice, or perhaps even a series of books, I have a small series of suggestions:
- NEVER GIVE MORE THAN YOU RECEIVE.
- DEMAND HONESTY FROM THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU & GIVE IT IN RETURN, THOSE WHO ARE NOT ON BOARD WITH THIS START DISCOUNTING THEM FROM YOUR LIFE.
- STOP SAYING SORRY ALL THE TIME. SORROW IS RESERVED FOR SERIOUS OFFENSES ONLY. APOLOGIZE IF YOU MUST BUT MAKE IT CLEAR AND CONCISE. IF YOU DON’T FEEL ITS NECESSARY TO APOLOGIZE YOU CAN ALWAYS COMMUNICATE THAT AS WELL.
- UNDERSTAND YOU WILL MAKE MISTAKES YOUR WHOLE LIFE (SOME WORSE THAN OTHERS) – APOLOGIZE AND MOVE ON. FORGIVE YOURSELF & THE OTHER PERSON AND GET MOVING.
- NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS YOUR SUPERIOR. RESPECT IS ONE THING AND IS WORTH DEMONSTRATING BUT YOU (NO MATTER YOUR STATION IN LIFE) ARE SOMEONES SERVANT.
You owe it to yourself to stop the cycle before it starts…or if it has to develop a plan to get off the roller coaster and on the long but rewarding road to the nearest approximation to freedom a human being can experience.