How many times you were told as a child to be honest? Whether it was by your parents, family, friends, a teacher or a mentor, for most people this was a top three personal commandment. Regardless of your background – racial, religious or ethnic – the concept of telling the truth is a hallmark of human civilization. The funny thing about embracing this behavioral novelty is that after the age of innocence (childhood & adolescents) comes the age of bullshit (adulthood). Why is this such a shocking thing to most people? We see it everywhere around us; priests diddling little kids, politicians saying anything to get elected, CEO’s telling employees one thing and stockholders something altogether different. Lying on a grand scale has become an art form. We have moved from despising dishonesty to the literal celebration of it.
The only problem I see in the whole equation revolves around two things: preparation and participation. As it relates to the former I’m speaking in regards to childhood. During this time, we are like wet clay being molded into the form of our future selves. The lack of disclosure through mindlessly brain washing kids into the belief that the world is this wonderful, Disneyland like place, where people are always kind and honest to one another is a tremendous disservice. The greatest gift a parent can give a child, beyond bringing them into this world of course, is a true understanding of the playing field of life. Kids are brought up around games many of which help to foster a sense of identity along with teaching them to socialize with others.
The problem is that somewhere along the line children become adults and during that time they’re invited to a new game, with a new set of rules but unlike football, track or tennis this one isn’t optional. Participation is mandatory and where you’re picked or traded to means everything. Coaching is important but at this level what you’re born with (physically and/or financially) means just as much as, or maybe more than, what you learned. Fairness, or even the idea as an abstract construct, no longer exists (not that it ever did). Win’s and losses are no longer merely a blemish to one’s record, at this juncture of life they are the difference between the promotion, the million-dollar grant, affording the mortgage or even putting food on the table for the next generation.
Now to tie all this in. The truth…the truth about lying is that it’s everywhere. It’s as pervasive to the experience of life as sunshine. Little or big it’s a nearly daily endeavor. The key to it, similar to a day spent at the beach, is to apply “sunscreen” as often and liberally as possible. We owe it to ourselves, to our children (if you should happen to have any), to understand that as often as we’re sold an honest bill-of-goods there’s an equally likely chance that what we’re hearing, what we’re seeing, is a total load of shit. At the end of the day the best that can be hoped for is a home environment built on the principles of trust and honesty while simultaneously trying to foster that in the world outside the one we spend with those around us. Keep in mind that not everyone is hip to or a fan of this idea and as the saying goes, learn to take things “with a grain of salt.”